Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

You were and will always be one of the strongest women I know. You have been through so much not just with illness but with other events that took place in your life. Never once did I ever doubt how much you cared for me. You always put me ahead of yourself. It was not uncommon for you to go out of your way to help others either. I think god put you in Dad’s life for a reason and that is because he needed someone who would give him the unconditional love, trust and friendship that you did. In turn you had me and were the best mother anyone could ever want. You were always truthful even when others didn’t want to hear it and voiced your opinion. I know that’s where I got it from. I look at my friends and the childhoods/ relationships they had and I feel so bad that they weren’t given the parents that I was. I could never imagine having a parent who didn’t stand up for me or protect me the way that you and my dad did. I do have regrets of fights we use to have especially the ones that I had with you when I was a teenager. I remember repeatedly telling you how I wish I was never born. I am sorry for that. Never once did I ever regret you having me as your daughter. When you got sick with the cancer I think I was in denial I kept thinking “Oh she is gonna get through this”. I hoped, I prayed, I begged but in the end I was no longer hoping, praying or begging for you to fight. I just wanted your pain to end. I wish I could have told you how much I loved you in the end. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you because I knew it would upset you and I would cry which wouldn’t have been good for your breathing. Momma I love you so much and cherish every single memory I have with you. I will never forget all of our mountain rides, you teaching me how to drive or the best friend you were to me. I miss you so much and I will never get over losing you. I have an ache in my heart that is never going to go away. But I know that you would want me to live my life the best I can and that you will be with me every step of the way. Momma, thank you so much for being my Mother. Rest in peace my beautiful angel!

Love Always,

Jessica Dawn