The Maker of my Own Misery

I had something said to me that really got to me today. It was by one of my best friends who I am not getting along with right now because I talked about their significant other. They told me I am guilty of talking about each of my friends. My response to that is look in the mirror because you have talked about those people to. I always have a response to everything and it’s usually calling others out on their crap. But the more I have thought about it the more it hurts me and makes me realize that I am a horrible human being for doing that. These people are my best friends who I would do anything for and love like my siblings. I am not trying to make excuses but sometimes you just need to vent, ya know! It’s still not a good reason. Everyone does it. You can sit there and say you are not guilty of talking smack on someone but even your little comments about how horrible a person looks, how bad they act or what they live like is talking smack.  I am sitting here in tears because I just feel so horrible. I guess the first step to changing is confessing and admitting that I have done wrong. I have always been told words hurt. I always knew it was true just didn’t know how much it hurt. To those of you I have wronged I am sorry and I know that nothing will take back what I have done. I truly do value and love my friends with all my heart which is why this hurts so much. Everything I have said in the past couple weeks has been exactly how I have felt about situations, so at least I wasn’t lying. I have always tried to be truthful and sometimes sugar coat things so they are less offensive to the other person. I don’t ask forgiveness because I know I won’t get it. Just thought I would let everyone know that I am not perfect and I am human just like everyone else. See this mean ass has feelings or else I would not have cried while writing this. I have no one to blame but myself. I can sit here and say that people need to take their own advice about talking about people behind their backs because lets face it their are people worse then me. But the only person I need to worry about is me and how I effect other people and how I effect my own personal being and reputation.