Betrayed and filled with Anger and Hurt

I am an observer by nature, if that makes sense. This means I observe things and put the pieces together. Well when I was staying with my aunt I was noticing all sorts of things. She is an addict, and is really bad to the point where my cousin’s disability check gets spent on her debt. She hasn’t even been paying her rent it’s that bad. I have dealt with friends having addictions to hard core drugs and it never had the effect on me that my family’s addictions do. Anyhow, one weekend I stayed with my Aunt and my other two Aunt’s showed up. They confronted my youngest aunt, mind you she is the one I am closest to and was here day after day with my mom when she was sick. Apparently, she took my deceased grandma’s mothers ring and wedding ring and pawned them off to get pills.

Now let’s rewind to November 17^th, 2013. I remember this day because it is the day that my Momma and I got baptized. Well on this day two of my Aunts were at my house; Aunt B and Aunt T. Both have reputations for stealing and lying. Well a bunch of my mom’s pain medicine for her cancer went missing. Aunt T blamed Aunt B, none of us questioned it. Until, Aunt B and Aunt D confronted Aunt T about pawning off those rings.

Well, it made me think back over the course of the past few years. My Aunt T had admitted one or two times to stealing my Moms pain medicine in the past. I put two and two together and come to the conclusion that my Aunt T waited for a day when one of my other Aunt’s was there to steal my Mom’s pills so she could blame it on someone else. It frustrates me to no end because if you have ever watched someone who is dependent on a pill or anything goes through withdrawal it’s not fun. Let alone it be your mother who was fighting cancer for years and in her last few weeks of life. Watching my mother sweat, puke, get the shakes on top of dying just goes right through me. I cannot for the life of me forget that. You feel so helpless and you know there is nothing you can do.

When my Gram passed in 2010 my Aunt T was given my Grams wedding and mothers ring. But she gave my Mom the mothers ring to keep. When my mom passed I decided to give her back the ring since it was willed to her. Then to find out she just pawned something so precious to our family off like that is beyond frustrating. I came home and discussed it with my dad and he told me that my Mom thought it was Aunt T but she didn’t want to say it because she wanted her around. I can understand that because I would have laid Aunt T out and she would have been crying because you don’t do that to you sister who is dying of cancer. In the mean time she blamed Aunt B and I believed her. I feel so rotten for threatening to call the cops on Aunt B.

Morale of the story Addiction sucks; don’t ever believe an addict no matter what because they lie. I have realized that everything she has told me is a lie. She was getting help on a program, my grandfather paid a lot for her to get started and she just gets the pills and sells them to pay off her debts to people. She can’t get ahead. Everyone else is practically paying for everything my little cousin has. It’s a sad situation and a lot of the reason I don’t go around her anymore is because I can’t get over this. All I keep picturing is my Mom going through withdrawal on top of dying. Sad part is my Mom only made it to see December 8th, 2013 and in the last few weeks she not only endured hospital stays, having a tube put in her lung to drain the cancerous fluid out 24/7; she also had to go through withdrawal. Just breaks my heart thinking the one person my Mom and I loved the most could do this.