I had a friend recently ask me to post online that I was going to his party just so that two people who I am not getting along with don't show up. Of course I did so but I just wish he would have told them his self instead of covering up his true feelings for them. It is what it is and I am realizing just how many friends talk crap on other friends. I guess I have been so wrapped up in the drama that I wasn't seeing how negative that is. Oh well I suppose since I ain't the one doing it that it doesn't effect me. Some of the crap that is said those is hilarious. I am sure I get talked about by everyone to and it really hasn't been bothering to much the past few days. I am almost to the point where i could care less. I can't change other peoples opinions on myself I can only move on and try to do better. My first step to moving on and living a better life is saying I am sorry to those who have been offended by my words. I really don't care that they constantly put me down for the same things they do or not. I need to become a better person and hopefully they can see the person they are is not great either.
The past couple weeks I have trying to delete the negative out of my life which due to my own mouth I already had three negative people do that for me. In the process I have started to surround myself with positive thoughts and people. My life goal has always been to be someone that others can look up to and inspire them to do better things with their lives. I know I am not perfect in any way shape or form. In fact my body image is definitely not perfect I am considered morbidly obese. It has been a struggle to change that aspect of myself but just like trying to stay positive it is a everyday battle. I was looking back on some of the projects I had to do when I first started college and came across My Personal Guiding Statement from 2010:
I will overcome whatever is
put in front of me with Respect &Integrity towards myself and others
My
Goal in life is to be the best person I can be. To never give up on my dreams
of being a photographer. I want to be someone that kids can look up to and
influence them to strive to reach their goals. Someday I hope to be a well
known photographer in my area. I also want to help other photography students
gain experience and skills to help them get one step closer to their dreams.
I think that god had intended me to find this to help me find my way back to myself and help me get back on track. So many people can put me down and try to drag me down with you but I am not falling. I am my own person who controls my own destiny.
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