So, it’s been forever since I actually sat down to write. I
feel like it is much needed right now for me. A lot of things have happened
this year; job loss, health problems with family, a new niece and just life.
In March my boss of 10 years started to merge with another
company. He assured us for weeks that our jobs were safe. Then less than a week
from close, he took us into his office, told us the office was no longer going
to be local and that we were losing our jobs. Yeah, it was interesting. At
first I was excited at the thought of a vacation.
Then a few months later the health of my grandparents
started to decline. This resulted in doctors’ appointments and even several
week hospital admissions. So in a twisted way the lay off from KCC was a
blessing. I still take my grandparents to their appointments and help them as
much as I can. Some days it is really stressful and brings me to tears. I know
my Gramma wants me to find another job, and I do to. But, that leaves them
without me to help and drive for them to appointments. They are too bull headed
to realize they shouldn’t be driving.
Thanksgiving was a great time. My cousin who lives out of
state came home for the holiday with his family. We had a lot of fun and he and
his fiance were a big help with Gramma. It was like a week vacation for me, I
know that sounds sad to say, but it’s true. I was sad to see them go, not
because of the help they gave, but because of how much I miss them when they aren’t
here.
This Christmas wasn’t what I am use to, for 31 years my
mom’s family has always gotten together and celebrated on Christmas Eve but,
this year my grandfather decided that he didn’t want to go. That resulted in my
Aunt Dee and Aunt Bee’s families doing their own thing. Even though I am close
to most of my family I still feel out of place, almost like I am intruding. Ever
since mom died December 8th, 2008 I feel like a third wheel, seems
crazy and I know I am partially to blame for that. I still went to my
grandfathers to see him Christmas Eve. It is, after all his day of the year for
us.
Christmas Day was spent at my dad’s parents. I cooked a meal
and invited my Uncle Kev to come. He even lived with my grandparents for a few
years when he was a teenager and is like a brother to my Dad &Uncle D.
My year has been full of ups and downs, many tears have been
shed and I am sure next year will be the same. My goal for the New Year is to
find some balance in my life. I need to support myself, but I need to help my
grandparents. Somehow, some way I will find a way to balance this all out.
Best of Luck,
J.D. Vonada
